Why The Fat Acceptance Movement Must Focus On Sex

Time was when I thought the movement for size acceptance was doing a relatively decent job at getting the message out. There was considerable attention given to important issues such as health, job discrimination, social stereotyping & inequality, prejudice, intolerance, and so on. It seemed as though the big girls of the world, and indeed the big men as well, were going to continue organizing in such ways as to bring about a real revolution in the realm of social consciousness. Sadly, it hasn’t happened. Even worse, the movement has virtually faded from the scene as I write these words in December of 2008. What happened? Where are the groups and organizations involved in true activism and social criticism on levels that actually have hope of making an impact? They all seem to have retreated from the fight.

Well, it’s obvious to this reporter that their impotence stems from the fact that these mainstream attempts to open the world’s eyes and ears to the realities of the Fat Community neglected one vital aspect of the issue, in fact, the most important one. They refused to focus on sex. Almost every online article, almost every initiative being pushed in any legislative forum whatsoever seemed to come from a rather apologetic and just plain wimpy perspective. Such declarations always read as more or less an admission of guilt. ‘Yes, I’m fat,’ they seemed to whine, ‘but I’m still a good person.’ You can almost hear the thousands of tiny violins playing! When is the last time you ever knew of someone who got what they wanted by begging? It may happen on occasion, but as a formula for success, forget it. The only way to get what we want in life is with attitude. And this is where the arena of sex becomes the arena through which the entire movement may find its wings.

Big girls find their sexual selves as a result of one crucial thing happening in their lives. They discover the liberating power of ‘Fuck it!’ They learn that when they simply step out and flaunt what they’ve got with no concern for what anybody else thinks, good things start to happen. They learn that everything they wanted in life was already there, and that it didn’t have a damn thing to do with their being fat. It had to do with fear, fear of the opinions of others. They learn that when they get up and dress like beautiful women and act like beautiful women, that they become even more alluring and sexy than all those little skinny girls of whom they used to be so jealous. And what happens next to our voluptuous sex kittens? Their lives on every level are opened up to abundance. What about men? Men find our big beautiful babes so hot and sexy that many of them begin to reevaluate life-long attitudes about their skinny girl preferences, and the next thing you know, change is in the wind. The woman that felt ashamed when she appeared at work each day, certain that all her co-workers were laughing at her behind her back puts them all in their places when she dons her hot, sexy dress and high heels, applies her nightclub makeup and struts into that office like the powerhouse tigress that she is, instantly transforming the women’s thoughts to jealousy and the men’s to open-mouthed shock and awe. She’ll be asked out more than once before the day is out.

The idea in all this is that being sexy makes us confident. When you know people are thinking ‘she’s hot’ when they look at you, you’re going to have no problems dealing with the other issues in your life. Sexuality is attractive. It is empowering. It makes others look at us in a positive light. It makes for acceptance instead of rejection, and this is the base point of all the miseries in the lives of big women, i. e., rejection. So, if you’re looking to discover positive change in every aspect of your life, go for maximum sexy! Hotties always get what they want. You just didn’t know that you were one. Until now. Now get out there and fuck somebody’s shit up!

"Real Women" A Label To Be Reckoned With

Call her 'Plus-Size,' or 'Full-Figured.' Call her 'BBW.' Regardless of what is perceived as a socially appropriate handle, today more and more Big Girls refer to themselves as 'Real Women.' It's a strong reflexive assertion, naturally engendered by the fact that so many Big Girls have been made to believe they are inferior women by the media and by peer groups. It is only fitting, then, that a rejoinder through which they assert themselves as superior women should not have been long in coming. In this post, we're going to begin looking at some of the necessary by-roads upon which the 'Real Woman' must travel in order to establish herself (or more accurately, RE-establish herself) in her rightful role as 'The Bomb.'

To begin with, the Real Woman inevitably has to learn and re-learn the mechanics of her sexual allure. Social conditioning has inculcated her with the message of her social undesirability, and this in turn becomes an integral—and thoroughly inimical—component in her complex of interactions with the world. Fortunately, today she receives far more encouragement to be herself and to openly express her sexuality than at any time in the recent past. I say ‘recent’ past because the rise of the skinny woman as female prototype was a 20th Century phenomenon, which broke with a much longer tradition of the ‘Ruben-esque’ woman as female ideal. At any rate, we now look upon modern media with a certain amount of gratitude as it has given Real Women a high-profile context in which to operate, notwithstanding the fact that it is this same media that perpetuates the image of the skinny woman as prototype. And so the media is both friend and foe to the Big Beautiful Woman in her quest for self-actualization. In my articles and essays, I always encourage Big Girls to get out there and shine as only a ceaseless campaign of ‘takin’ it to the public’ can establish them as the goddesses they so truly are. And how is this best accomplished? Through inner confidence and outer flamboyance! If a girl is going to dress to kill, she damn well better be packing ammunition! And that means exposure, purely and simply. Tight, revealing outfits do the same thing for Big Girls as they do for little girls…only better. And so, keeping sexy styling in mind, let’s take a look at what makes our well-heeled Real Woman HOT and why.

POWER. What makes them HOT is their power, and by this I mean their raw, physical power. A Big Woman is automatically endowed with this most compelling of all aphrodisiacs. She is formidable, she stands strong and solid. She is the very embodiment of permanence. She dares you to test the force of her stature. This exhibition of strength is something men find both intimidating and intensely provocative. Most men are aroused by power on some level, and I would actually argue that all men are, if only we could get them to lower their macho-man facades and get real. When he has entered into the presence of the Big Girl that knows who she is, he will experience something totally new; a woman in complete control. This aspect of her presence is something with which the Big Girl needs to become intimately acquainted. She needs to practice and cultivate her understanding of it. Power = Control. She should admire herself in the mirror often, until she is certain that she sees—and feels—the power dripping with scorching sexuality from her image, from her Being. With this power she will forever hence command any room she walks into, her movements secure, her footfall hard and imperious. This comes when she has grasped the life-affirming quality of her power and has learned how to display it with CONFIDENCE.

Confidence may be considered an addition to power, in that it is a separate entity, as is evidenced by the fact that it is quite common for people to display great confidence though lacking entirely in any appearance of power. And while a woman’s grasp of power comes mainly from an understanding of her physical presence, confidence is very much a psychological entity, something that must be harnessed in the mind. This quality is still difficult for a Big Girl to harness. The message of ‘undesirability’ has taken the form of underlying structure and in many cases continues to remain an obstacle to self-actualization because it has had long years to become deeply imbedded in her psyche. Though she knows now that there is a large group of men that find her infinitely more attractive than the skinny girl, she feels an inward suspicion that the skinny-lovers are still right—that they represent some imagined form of objective ‘truth,’—while feeling at the same time that the men who DO adore them are fetish freaks whose opinions somehow don’t really count. Pretty serious self-esteem issue, isn’t it? No matter how many men fall at your feet, you still feel inadequate. Well, it takes a lot of doing to unravel some of the bullshit that’s laid on us as we’re growing up.

Just what, then, does it take to unravel it? Is it simply a matter of repetition? Does a Big Beautiful Woman have to hear ‘You’re Hot’ as many times as she’s previously heard ‘You’re Fat’ before her emotional centers register ‘even’ on her internal scoreboard? That’s an easy assumption to make if her self-awareness is created solely from the content of what she’s heard all her life. But the truth is that the subject is considerably more complex than that, and as a result, our plush goddess becomes a woman of power through channels other than repetition of opinion. For the blessed few, confidence and attitude are part of their personalities. These few have always been tough, they genuinely value themselves highly, and their ultra-sexy swagger is a real thing. This, however, does not represent the majority of big girls. Even among relatively high-profile BBW nude models, we see insecurity manifested regularly. This insecurity is most evident in video clips. As these women are strutting their stuff for the cameras, their expressions, and often their physical gestures as well, betray their lack of self-confidence. They are having a hard time believing that they are really ALL THAT. All too often they even break into the sort of nervous giggling that reflects their confusion at what they are doing. They want to make the most of the opportunity to flaunt their sexuality, but they don’t really believe that they ARE sexy. A sense of embarrassment takes over, and it is very easy to detect as we watch them. Attitude is so important, and though these women are exceptionally gorgeous, the overall sensual effect is destroyed by their own inability to perceive it and believe it.

And so we are left with our question: From whence comes this confidence? How does our voluptuous vixen make the transition from outcast to sex kitten? Two key words apply here. Perception and Awareness. Perception has to do with the way we relate to and interact with the world. Awareness has to do with the expansion of consciousness and the self-appropriation of subsequent insights that empower us to ALTER our perception in line with our own positive development and with the higher truths regarding our views of the world.

Join me for Part II as we investigate the concepts of Perception and Awareness.

BBW: A Report On The State Of The Image

Understanding the position of the BBW image at this moment in time involves taking a fresh look at the power and dynamics of Image itself within the context of culture’s present state of evolution. The chief difficulty in such an investigation has to do primarily with the unprecedented swiftness with which that present state changes. Never before in history has the cultural landscape had the potential to shift so dramatically in such brief periods of time. It may even be said that it is in a constant state of flux, and there is certainly an element of truth in that notion. Nevertheless, if we’re to attain any sort of comprehensive grasp of the nature of Image manipulation in our daily lives, we’re going to have to live with the difficulty. On the up-side, however, as we're going to discover, the brutally rapid pace of modern life has positive implications for the broader acceptance of the BBW (The Real Woman!) Lifestyle, and other so-called 'alternative' lifestyles as well.

The world of the Big Beautiful Woman has certainly changed for the better in many ways over the past 2 decades. But like any other group considered to be ‘outside’ the mainstream, its struggle for autonomy and legitimization remains a challenge. This struggle for greater acceptance is always in place in modern culture among groups that feel unjustly marginalized vis-à-vis the prevailing trends, and the most powerful instrument of change available to such groups is Image.

Image has the unique ability to accomplish its objective instantaneously, unlike text, which must first be read in order to be processed. Amidst the meteoric pace of modern life, it is easy and often necessary to ignore text. The day is simply too short. Image is immune to time constraints. The most cursory glance, even one executed against our will, provides more than sufficient time to process the perceived message of Image. Remember those psychological tests back in the 60’s in which single frames depicting violent acts were inserted into otherwise calming and warm-hearted film footage? The violent images flashed onto the screen with such brevity that no one was conscious of their appearance. And yet, almost without exception, test subjects reported feeling unsettled or disturbed at the film’s end. They had been affected profoundly by intercourse with images they were not even aware of having seen. It is hard to imagine a more compelling testimony to the power of Image.

So, what is our current understanding of the implications of this power? Today, Image-driven media is more pervasive than ever before and we would be wise to retain a state of vigilance in understanding the ways in which media manipulates this imagery in order to control the thought processes of the general populace. While anyone not living on an uncharted island sans cell phone or laptop understands by now that endless labyrinths of commerce are what lie sprawling behind the media image, what is not so apparent are the ways in which these images do their work without the viewer’s consent. And unlike the subliminal imagery of our film experiments, most of the unconscious effects engendered by Image in today’s marketplace are achieved through the most direct means. Image is in-your-face today, challenging you like a 99 mph fastball. You know what’s coming, but you can’t stop it from having its desired effect. Or can you? This is what we’re going to investigate in analyzing the power and potential of the BBW Image today. We’re going to need to know just how much power the consumer possesses in the face of the media’s 99 mph Image fastball.

How does this unconscious power work? Today, it relies upon the fact that life is simply too fast-paced and fragmented to allow time for consumers to think in analytical terms about Media Image. The idea is that Image should become such a pervasive presence that it is taken as a ‘given,’ as a matter of course. We don’t think about why we find the blonde bimbo with the stick figure body and the 70-inch boob-job so hot, we just do. She’s there, she’s the constant, therefore, she gets my vote too. She's what I’m supposed to like because I saw it on ‘The Man Show.’ This is the general plan of 21st Century marketing. Just walk right in the door, assume the consumer’s ascendance to complicity, and collect the money. The entire paradigm is reflective of the chaotic vibe of public interface with the rapid-fire, quantum gyrations that characterize urban culture today. There’s little need for subtlety when ‘Wham-Bam, Thank You Ma’am’ gets the job done with far less investment of time and energy.



In what ways do these observations inform us as to the positioning of the BBW Image today? Most importantly, they assure us that the Image of Real Women can become just as acceptable and pervasive as any other feminine image simply by virtue of an Ascending Linear Presence. Linear Presence is accomplished by placing an unbroken chain of signifiers in place along a pre-determined, direct pathway. In the case of gaining improved saturation for the BBW Image, it happens as more designers and manufacturers of clothing enter the marketplace, along with more mainstream and Adult models focused on Image campaign with an entirely new kind of intensity, with a determination that the BBW Lifestyle won't be marginalized, and with the faith that the Big Beautiful Woman represents the ultimate in womanhood; ultimate sexuality, ultimate beauty, ultimate attitude, and ultimate intelligence. Each component of the system must 'up the ante,' as it were, and redouble its efforts to proliferate the line, or pathway, with an increasing abundance of compelling signification. As with any revolution, belief in the power to change the world is the fuel that keeps the fire burning brightly.

And so the idea of Ascending Linear Presence implies a progressively increasing density in ones use and familiarity with the workings of Media Image. The first concept with which we need to get very cuddly in this regard is the realization that Media doesn’t indicate public preferences. It creates them! Media isn’t in the business of reporting that the Pamela Anderson stereotype is indicative of most men’s preferences. It is in the business of making sure you believe she’s the embodiment of that preferential stereotype. In the case of public intercourse with Media Image, the tail wags the dog. Count on it. This is by no means a negative for Real Women. On the contrary, it is utterly empowering. One cool thing about the media is that it’s available to everyone. I’ve been saying for some time that the creation of a new stereotype is in order, the BBW Stereotype. The truth is that guys love big women. It’s just that acceptance of their imagery in the sexual realm simply hasn’t yet had a sufficient period of gestation. It’s all going to come together, but at this point in time it’s all about persistence, creativity, and energy. Real Women need to let go of the inferiority thing, too. It’s all in the past. Yes, I know you still got a snicker from a couple of dim bulbs at your office yesterday, but that’s no longer a reflection on you. It’s a reflection on two dullards that haven’t kept up with the times. If you care to keep watch, you’ll also discover that they issue the exact same snicker to other girls as well. It’s the job of the perennial loser to find fault. The snicker is their way of signifying that they don’t have a date that night, so just let it go. Get on with the important business of activism and of promoting yourself as an object of beauty, an object of sexual desire. Becoming our own mass-media promoting the BBW Lifestyle is the Royal Road to ultimate acceptance.

Am I encouraging you to be a Sex Object? I sure am, and for a very good reason. The Media Image that marginalizes big girls is nothing else but a sex object, the iconographic skinny girl/massive implant stereotype. To topple her as 'the world's most desirable woman' is to topple her as Sex Goddess first. Realize also that sexual allure is behind every commercial endeavor on some level, so if the Image of the Real Woman is ever to become the standard bearer for beauty and desirability, it’s going to have to be found dripping with sensuality. Of course this is not a problem because it’s what big women have wanted all along. They want the world to open itself up to a complete picture of reality, and in reality big girls are smokin’ hot. But to prove it on the kind of scale that equates to a falling away of prejudice and antipathy it is necessary to become media savvy and to keep turning up the cultural pressure. As I said, Sex is the driving force behind every facet of commerce once we penetrate the innocence of the surface façade and immerse ourselves in the deep structure. Discovery of the forces operating within that deep structure opens us up to the real possibilities of Image manipulation. It all has to do with the concept of Power.

The concepts of Power and Control are closely related, even intertwined, if you will. And these are the two commodities behind every decision we make as human beings, certainly every important one at any rate. Power and Control are the nerve center of Deep Structure. Any commodity or service you can think of claims to do what? It claims to improve your life in some way, large or small. With improvement comes more control, and by extension, more power. More power always carries an extended sexual allure because power is the real measure of success in the world, not money per se. Power is the sublime aphrodisiac, and it is precisely through Image (Signification) that Real Women have to harness power. They have to obtain power in order to be empowered. In order for this to happen on a large scale, constant visibility is essential, and along with visibility, enhanced volume and quality of visibility as well. To sum up, what I’m saying is that Big Beautiful Woman have the same media options as skinny women, they just haven’t yet commanded them with the requisite amount of strategic creativity. Granted, it takes contacts and funding. But it starts where every other movement starts; at the grass-roots level. As Real Women remain committed to showing the world what they’ve got, confident that it is indeed the real deal, the world will respond. For now, the important thing is to recognize that the BBW lifestyle is marginalized because we still don’t have the numbers to execute the game plan. But with the recognition that the turf is ours for the taking right now, perhaps it's not unrealistic to hope that those numbers explode in the immediate future. At least we can say without fear of equivocation that they're growing every day.

Anorexia Wars: The Media's Eternal Obsession With Emaciation

The title of one of my favorite Wayne Kramer songs says it best: 'Somethin's broken in the Promised Land.' Yes folks, in this ineffable year of our lord, 2008, Eva Longoria became tabloid fodder by gaining 7 lbs. and looking (god help us) like this. Eva’s weight gain was actually described as ‘shocking’ in one source I weighed in on. ‘Eva’s Pregnant!’ reported another with supreme confidence. The mind recoils from such inane commentary, requiring a moment to actually grasp the significance of what it is hearing. One can only hope that the publications running the stories were simply going for the green and trying to offer up a piece of crass, quickie-sensationalism that could sell a few papers. One can hope. Problem is, there is always that nagging feeling that this fetish with emaciation is real, that those who notice it and report it actually believe that their subject has become less attractive (and by extension, less desirable) having added a few pounds to her previously pencil-esque physique. Well, it’s one thing to think such supremely irrational thoughts in ones own head, it’s quite another to continue preaching the gospel of the Anorexic Ideal, not only to actors and models who may have better resources for dealing with the issue, but to the even more vulnerable ordinary women in all walks of life. Shame on you.

So, how does it happen? How can a supposedly evolving culture continue to degenerate into abject irrationalism? How is it we cannot seem to wake up from the nightmare of media mind control? Is the tail wagging the dog? Does majority taste dictate the trends, or vice-versa? Are we really such sheep that we’ve allowed our very lives to become extensions of the media? The fact that these questions must be asked is indeed symptomatic of our modern post-modern condition and they point to a disturbing truth. Truth is, our individual lives have ceased to be autonomous entities, having de-volved into shadows, mere extensions of the real things (products and corporations) whose images are fed into our psyches by the kingpins of the power structure as so much data is fed into a computer. We are taught NOT to think, but to emulate. Not to be unique, but to be the same. To follow not our hearts and intuitions but the images on our big-screens and computers. Only in these ways may we be assured of our ultimate acceptability, which is to say, our capacity for remaining consummate consumers. Those pulling the strings are apparently convinced that those who subscribe to the Myth of the Skinny Woman will be the superior customers. And they hit the public squarely in its Achilles’ heel; in its perceptions about Acceptability.

Fat Britney at the VMA's 2007. She was called 'a cow' by Hollywood entertainment reporters. ?????????

Acceptability represents the highest good. Everyone has to be acceptable on some level to someone. So why not be the MOST acceptable woman you can be and be acceptable to the entire world? Just like Eva Longoria before her scandalous weight gain. If you don’t, your acceptability diminishes incrementally and apparently BY THE POUND, according to these reports. We can see, then, that by availing itself of this simple but extremely effective tactic, the Corporate Demagogue manipulates your behavior by threatening your sense of ultimate acceptability through the use of IMAGE. Image is inextricably linked with Identity and this connection is a topic for another time. Having made a note of the idea, let’s move on, confining this discussion to the question of Image as it relates to the contemporary woman.

IMAGE
Of course, our introductory paragraph speaks volumes about image-expectation among women. Obviously, it’s not just ‘thin’ that’s in, but more accurately, ‘ultra-thin.’ Such an ideal is understandably quite intimidating to a majority of women. They know instinctively that the image is unnatural. And yet it seems to remain compelling, for reasons that resist articulation. It’s like a magic spell, bidding women to embrace what they know to be insane for the promise of ultimate cultural acceptance. That’s the function of Image in the media. It is calculated to override logic. It is there to OVERRULE your common sense, the wishes of friends and family, and everything else you know in an effort to win your consent. In Media Culture one picture is indeed worth a thousand words, and probably a lot more than that. Image-power is nothing short of remarkable. One photograph has the ability to dictate more than just looks and attitudes, it has the ability to dictate identity itself. Whether we approve of or disapprove of a given image tells us—and everyone else—the basics about who we actually are.

A Real Woman strolling the Southern California Beaches.

The scary part of the equation is our willingness to surrender to Image while being fully conscious that it is irrational, and fully conscious that we’re surrendering. We think of comparing the syndrome to that of moth to flame, but in reality it’s far worse. As far as we’re able to tell, the poor moth doesn’t KNOW it’s going to burn up in the flame. It’s simply doing what it does, gravitating toward maximum light. I suspect that if a moth could understand the fiery fate that awaited it, it would be smarter than we humans and avoid the blaze. But we are such creatures of habit, and so emotionally malleable that we buy into manipulation with the kind of predictability that advertisers liken to ‘shooting fish in a barrel.’ Not much of a challenge. And so it goes. Advertisers create images in order to connect their clients with the world, the world accepts or rejects the clients and their products via apprehension of the Image, and the real people that make up the world learn to define themselves by the Images they accept and reject.

What has happened in this cultural exchange? 1.An image has taken on the power to render a negative value judgement with respect to a real person. 2. The person has taken the value judgement to be real. 3. The value judgement IS real if enough other real people in the life of the original real person also believe the image represented reality with accuracy. Now, multiply the effect of this one small episode by, let's just say, 5 per week, 20 times per month, 240 times per year. That's two hundred and forty messages a woman will process telling her that she’s ultimately unacceptable; unacceptable to 'people who matter,' at any rate. The emotional depths at which we actually become the media image is stunning. Indeed, for many, there is no difference to be found between the contrived image and the self-image.


Tyra and Jennifer Love were skewered by the press for their appalling weight gains evidenced in these photos.

At some point, we realize that the only way to sanity is to stop letting the corporations do our thinking for us. The most precious power we possess is that of thinking for ourselves. Image is not destructive by definition. But it is critical that we as individuals control our own relationships to it. Most people are by nature less than fully confident in themselves, and when they attempt something creative on their own, it can be very hurtful when that act is treated with derision or apathy. We all know how that feels. We want to be validated. In the same way, we want our public personas to be validated. We want to be praised, and told that it’s 'all good.' All too often, we are rewarded with rejection instead. And so, we learn that doing things our own way involves a much greater risk than following the crowd. The crowd rewards homogenization, not by an abundance of praise, but in the negative sense by simply offering up no criticisms. No risk, no repercussion. Safety is assured. I cannot over-emphasize how important it is that we summon the courage to go against this grain of conformity and let go of our safety. The corporate image must not be allowed to dictate who we are. We have to relegate it back to its proper place. It is there to offer choices to the REAL power broker, and that is YOU. That is US.

BBW Model Carrie takin' the fight to the streets. Redefining the concept of 'Hot!'

So, how does a Real Woman respond to the notion that the media labels a woman ‘fat’ if she exceeds 130 lbs.? She doesn’t. She just keeps right on doing what she does best; promoting the BBW Lifestyle. That’s the answer, girls. The solution to this Anorexia fetish is to create an even bigger Fat Fetish. Plus Size models need to keep up the good work, and more importantly, to increase it and improve it. Only when we get the general quality AND quantity of BBW publications ratcheted up a few notches can we begin to compete. And competing, ladies, is the name of the game. This whole public opinion thing is a game of fighting fire with fire. And Real Women need bigger fires and more beautiful fires. So in closing, I’d like to encourage all you big beautiful women out there to stand up and be counted. If you’ve had the inclination to model or to do something else that’s high profile, the time is right. There are many of us out here now. Today, support is greater than ever for Real Women and their ambitions and I encourage you all to take advantage. Let skinny girls keep ruling the Media Image War? I think not.


Two images of Real Women in swimwear. The greeting card is intended as a slur, the Corona Girl as eye candy.

Real Women or Stick Figures? An Inquiry

We hear increasing talk today about the acceptance of Large Women in terms of their appearance and sexuality. It’s a subject that provokes some surprisingly heated discourse between those who are attracted to Real Women, and those who are not. I love the term ‘Real Women,’ and feel no compunction whatsoever about using it to describe women who embrace their gorgeous curves with pride. No need to guess which camp I fall into, hmm? Frankly, I see little need to enter into the whole pro and con thing, though it must be touched upon presently. The more important question is how the subject ever became a legitimate topic of debate in the first place. Any man who has ever been with a Real Woman knows the score in unequivocal fashion. The Big Girl is superior in every way, unless perhaps the occasion arises in which you have to carry her up a flight of stairs. Even so, you’ll love her every grueling step of the way, and all the more when you finally get to where you’re going. The quality of her flesh is incomprehensible; such a perfect blend of soft/firm/plump. And what's the word for soft/firm/plump? Yep. Plush. No skinny girl could ever be plush. She could never possess plush-ness. Too much bone, too much hard muscle, and no real softness to speak of. Yes, I know her skin can be soft. That’s all in the lotion. I’m talking about REAL softness, the raw sensuality, the SEXuality that only a woman with beautiful body fat possesses. There is no feeling like that of intimate contact with such a woman.

Beyond the strictly physical part of the equation, the Real Woman is infinitely more erotic than the skinny girl. She has so much more to use in the service of her sexuality, and she knows what to do with it. She knows that her shapes and sweeping sensual textures will drive her man into the kind of frenzy that skin and bones could never accomplish. Once a Real Woman becomes aware of what she’s got, she also becomes sexually confident in a way that her stick-figure rival can never be. She knows she’s everything her man could ever hope to handle. She rules her territory, and it turns her on to do so.

Because the Real Woman has likely spent much of her time growing up as an object of ridicule, she also has a great deal of sensitivity to offer. Unlike the skinny girl who thinks attention from boys is simply part and parcel of her existence, the Real Woman has an emotional center that gives her a level of depth and character that only serves to enhance her extraordinary sexuality all the more. There is an air of freedom about her. As she senses your unparalleled ecstasy in enjoying her to the fullest, there is a flow established that tells you SHE’S enjoying YOUR enjoyment perhaps even more.

Having taken stock of the obvious reasons for preferring Real Women to stick figures, let’s move on into the more complicated part of our inquiry, namely, social conditioning. Social conditioning is definitely the arena in which things get tough. Our very personalities are constructed by a complex web of genetic traits and social conditioning, all of which meld together into what we perceive as basically one single thing; the individual Ego. Lifelong attitudes can be very difficult to ‘unwind,’ and we can’t realistically suggest that men should be able to simply wake up one morning having developed an attitude with regard to their sexual tastes that is the reverse of the one they took to bed the night before. But what we CAN suggest is that men at least develop the courage to be honest with themselves. How many men are there who harbor their obsessions with big girls in secret? Jerk off to pictures of a 300 lbs. woman tonight, then go out the next day preaching intolerance against them. It’s more common than you’d like to think. These men are afraid of facing derision in the company of their peers for having sexual preferences that fly in the face of the beer commercial standard for taste in women. Well, guess what, guys? Your bro’s will get over it. I know. I’ve been open about my preference for Real Women for years, and not one of my friends has yet disowned me over it.

Of course, sometimes it’s more than just peer pressure that stands in the way of emotional honesty. Many men who secretly love Big Girls actually feel within themselves that there is something ‘sick’ or ‘perverted’ about their preference. In every arena of their own circles they are hit up with the message that fat girls are ugly, that there is something disgusting about such a woman. This is a far more serious issue than the one outlined above. The first man knows he’s cool, he just doesn’t think his friends will ‘get it.’ The second man actually thinks he’s abnormal in some profound way. To this individual, I’d like to send the right message. Dude, it’s OK! Come on out of the closet and embrace your loves and your passions, not only for Real Women, but for anything else you feel strongly about, and which the world tries to tell you is wrong. Because this, people, is at the root of ALL problems that involve prejudice, namely, that culture deals in stereotypes. That’s all it knows. The very message of mainstream society is HOMOGENIZATION. That’s all that matters. To the extent that you want to be yourself, you’re considered a freak. To the extent that you want to be like the majority, you’re normal. Is there any more ridiculous measure of our worth than the degree to which we can lump ourselves together with a world full of bigots and losers? Time to get your heads on straight.

So now we see the truth of the stick-figure preference exposed for what it really is; the mindless promotion of a status-quo mentality that doesn’t even understand its own foundations and existence. Now, to all you Real Women out there, and to the men who love you, I hope you’re beginning to see that the reasons for your being ostracized by mainstream culture stem from the very fact that you are SO FAR AHEAD OF IT! Real Women and their lovers are leading the cultural movement toward the embracing of the ‘One World’ philosophy that is so critical in bringing an end to the enmity between all the diverse peoples and cultures that make up our planet. Am I saying that loving a fat chick will heal the world? Actually, I am. But don’t do it because you feel sorry for them in some way. They already stand far beyond the reach of your pity. Do it because it’s an honest expression of who you are. Of course, I’m not suggesting that our troubled world can be healed of its stupidity overnight. What I would like to suggest is that everywhere and in every way possible people begin to hear the message of tolerance. It’s something we can all promote in almost every area of daily life. It’s something that a so-called ‘free’ society should possess as an integral feature of its very identity. But sadly it is an element that is often entirely absent in the world-views of men. There may well be little legitimate hope of changing the existing attitudes of prejudice and intolerance among those who have been inculcated with these poisons throughout their lives, but we have to get on board with the understanding that we CAN change these attitudes in the future and we must be committed to doing so. In closing, let me remind you that Real Women rule, and that Hate is the only universally ugly thing in our midst. Now, let’s get on with the business of changing the world.

*Images courtesy of BODacious Magazine. Right on, Zik.