Date with a Big Girl: Not Just Another Night on the Town

When a Big Beautiful Woman sets her sights on exuding sexuality, she becomes more than a sexual powerhouse, she becomes an assassin! She greets you at the door wearing a micro-mini black leather skirt, with sheer black stockings, a lavender bustier, (low-cut in the extreme!) a short-sleeved white jacket over the bustier and a pair of sky-walker black and white high heels. Take my word for it, you're not going far tonight. She will have you on your knees begging for it long before the night is through. You're not a kid. You've seen a lot of girls in your time. But you've rarely seen the big ones fire it up for the sole purpose of rocking your world. The expanse of her hips and those upper thighs, her torso and chest, so full and powerful, her legs so solid they would steady her in the midst of a tsunami...all this reduces you to emotional rubble. All that remains is your helplessness. The Big Girl owns you. She owns your mind, your body, your sex, and your soul. But you remain confident in your awareness. You know beyond all doubt that you are exactly where you belong, and where every man belongs. At the feet of the BBW Goddess. May she forgive you for your multitude of sins.

Defining The BBW Lifestyle

Happily, we are witnessing a period of growth in the world of Big Girl Mania. The number of new web sites featuring beautiful fat girls seems to increase incrementally on a weekly basis. All this, of course, is much to my delight, as it is to the dedicated legion of Chubby-Lovers out there as well. The realization that big girls are the hottest, sexiest women on the planet is catching fire around the world, leaving those of us who’ve known all along to ponder the question: What took you so long? This phenomenon of Big Girl As Sex Goddess has also spawned what has come to be known as the BBW Lifestyle, or Size Acceptance Movement, promoting socio-political forms of activism geared toward a more mainstream acceptance of ‘people of size.’ The spirit of this movement represents an evolution from the original concept of the acronym ‘BBW, as it first appeared in a publication called ‘BBW Magazine’ way back in 1979. As many of you may know, BBW Mag was also aimed at mainstream acceptance for big women and had no connection whatsoever with the adult industry. Indeed, it functioned as a sort of ‘Cosmopolitan for Big Girls.’ But along the way, a curious development has taken place. The acronym ‘BBW’ and the moniker ‘Big Beautiful Woman’ have come to be appropriated by the adult industry for the identification of big beautiful adult models, a fact which has not only engendered some confusion, but has stirred up a bit of a hornet’s nest in the process.

The confusion, of course, lies in the fact that the label ‘BBW’ continues to function in both worlds, which, in the main, causes some confusion when it comes to internet searches, model listings, blogs and directories, etc. In my opinion, this ‘confusion’ is of such a trivial nature as to be scarcely worth mentioning. As one who has lived in the world of fat chicks for years, I must tell you that I’ve never had this particular brand of confusion cause me even the slightest bit of trouble. Admittedly, however, my involvement is primarily on the adult side of the issue, and it is true that for those seeking the more ‘Cosmopolitan’ types of web sites, blogs, etc. there are now certainly more porn listings to wade through in search of the designated target. Even so, again I must insist that it’s just not that big a deal.

The bigger problem comes with the resentment the original BBW coterie has for the adult industry usurpers. They have very strong feelings about the perceived degradation laid upon their doorstep via this cross-association with the ‘pornos & perverts.’ The enmity thus created between the two camps is the source of the great majority of negativity in the BBW world overall, porn or wholesome variety notwithstanding. Obviously, the wholesome group would be ecstatic to get their label back and have the pornos move on the some other form of designation. Well, we can understand their feeling that way, but realistically it ain’t gonna happen. The simple solution then is to draw a clear line of separation between the designations ‘BBW Lifestyle’ and ‘Size Acceptance Movement.’ Since the Size Acceptance Movement is actively embracing the agendas set forth from the beginning by BBW Magazine it seems only natural that the group championing these agendas drop the association with ‘BBW’ at least to the extent that the phrase ‘BBW Lifestyle’ designate the sexual aspects of the big girl’s world, and let ‘Size Acceptance Movement’ designate the set of larger overall issues within the Fat Community as a whole. In this way, all connections with the adult industry may fall under the province of the one designation, and never be confused with connections to the other.

So am I saying that only girls involved in the adult industry qualify as those living the BBW Lifestyle? Not at all. But I am saying that the focus of the designation should be on the sexuality of the big beautiful woman, and for the most part, to issues that proceed from it. Well, it’s just a suggestion, and one that I’m sure will fall entirely upon deaf ears. Such simple and effective solutions to problems always do. But at least it will be understood that when you come here, you will encounter no confusion whatsoever. You will have entered into the fabulous realm of the
Big Girl who's smokin' HOT. After all, it's her turf.

Diet Commercials: The Biggest Scams Of Them All

I think I’m losing my mind. I’ve still never seen Constantine with Keanu Reeves all the way through, and even though it’s only the TV version with a thousand and one edits, no doubt, I’d still like to see it, so I’ll know if I really want to see it, you know? Like is it cool enough to warrant renting or whatever. Anyway, the goddamn thing is littered so profusely with commercials that it’s making me nuts, but when the 5th diet commercial lands within the first hour (this one for Xenadrine, which supposedly just got recalled...again) I lost it. Fuck Constantine, Fuck the programming execs, but most of all, Fuck the commercial media that insists on perpetuating this hideous myth, the myth of the 'giggly skinny girl.' What's she so happy about, anyway? She looks like a coat hanger in a bikini, for Chrissakes. This is not a good look, ladies, regardless of how the propaganda reads. To begin with, in all these before and after deals the girls always look far better before than they do after. Why? Because 'before,' they looked like women, not like boob jobs on a stick. By the way, I heard they’re gonna do a fast food chain based on this stereotype. Yep, Boob Jobs on a Stick is coming to a food court near you. You go to the counter and order and they bring you two balloons filled with silicon mounted on a long straw so you can save a little time and just drink the shit down, thus allowing your system to absorb it immediately instead of slowly over time. OK, sorry, I'm just pissed. You don't really drink it. You pretend it's a full-length mirror and stand there like an idiot admiring the hideous monument to grotesque deformity that's staring back at you! Yeah, that's it. (Actually, I have nothing against boob jobs. I just hate them when they’re attached to pipe cleaners. They look so natural, y’know. Feh!)

What really eats me, though, is the dumb smiles and retarded giggling these girls always engage in once they've become 'after' girls. Like everything's wonderful now, right? Well, we all know better. It’s the big girls that get all the action. They’re better in bed, far sexier, more deliciously aggressive, and just plain HOTTER than any of these pathetic little pencil-legs. The best part, though, is the way each one of these commercials—without exception—throws up the disclaimer in wee, tiny little print at the bottom of the screen. ‘Results not typical.’ Not typical? Duh. Are all these stupid women so fucking desperate to become twigs that they really believe anyone lost 80 lbs. in 3 days? The whole thing’s absurd. These companies are just there to make millions off the ‘thin obsessives’ out there who still haven’t heard the news. Well, here it is: ‘Fat is Where It’s At,’ girls. And if you knew how hot you could be if you started getting back to your dedicated fast food regimen, you’d give up this media-driven, sociological hood-winking in a big hurry. So, if you're chubby, don't go on some ridiculous diet that will make you mental and that you know you'll never be able to stick with. Put on a smokin' mini-skirt, a low-cut top, some killer high heels and get the hell out of the house. You'll be sharing the company of an attractive young stud in no time. Then, the two of you can go have a nice, filling dinner!

Why The Fat Acceptance Movement Must Focus On Sex

Time was when I thought the movement for size acceptance was doing a relatively decent job at getting the message out. There was considerable attention given to important issues such as health, job discrimination, social stereotyping & inequality, prejudice, intolerance, and so on. It seemed as though the big girls of the world, and indeed the big men as well, were going to continue organizing in such ways as to bring about a real revolution in the realm of social consciousness. Sadly, it hasn’t happened. Even worse, the movement has virtually faded from the scene as I write these words in December of 2008. What happened? Where are the groups and organizations involved in true activism and social criticism on levels that actually have hope of making an impact? They all seem to have retreated from the fight.

Well, it’s obvious to this reporter that their impotence stems from the fact that these mainstream attempts to open the world’s eyes and ears to the realities of the Fat Community neglected one vital aspect of the issue, in fact, the most important one. They refused to focus on sex. Almost every online article, almost every initiative being pushed in any legislative forum whatsoever seemed to come from a rather apologetic and just plain wimpy perspective. Such declarations always read as more or less an admission of guilt. ‘Yes, I’m fat,’ they seemed to whine, ‘but I’m still a good person.’ You can almost hear the thousands of tiny violins playing! When is the last time you ever knew of someone who got what they wanted by begging? It may happen on occasion, but as a formula for success, forget it. The only way to get what we want in life is with attitude. And this is where the arena of sex becomes the arena through which the entire movement may find its wings.

Big girls find their sexual selves as a result of one crucial thing happening in their lives. They discover the liberating power of ‘Fuck it!’ They learn that when they simply step out and flaunt what they’ve got with no concern for what anybody else thinks, good things start to happen. They learn that everything they wanted in life was already there, and that it didn’t have a damn thing to do with their being fat. It had to do with fear, fear of the opinions of others. They learn that when they get up and dress like beautiful women and act like beautiful women, that they become even more alluring and sexy than all those little skinny girls of whom they used to be so jealous. And what happens next to our voluptuous sex kittens? Their lives on every level are opened up to abundance. What about men? Men find our big beautiful babes so hot and sexy that many of them begin to reevaluate life-long attitudes about their skinny girl preferences, and the next thing you know, change is in the wind. The woman that felt ashamed when she appeared at work each day, certain that all her co-workers were laughing at her behind her back puts them all in their places when she dons her hot, sexy dress and high heels, applies her nightclub makeup and struts into that office like the powerhouse tigress that she is, instantly transforming the women’s thoughts to jealousy and the men’s to open-mouthed shock and awe. She’ll be asked out more than once before the day is out.

The idea in all this is that being sexy makes us confident. When you know people are thinking ‘she’s hot’ when they look at you, you’re going to have no problems dealing with the other issues in your life. Sexuality is attractive. It is empowering. It makes others look at us in a positive light. It makes for acceptance instead of rejection, and this is the base point of all the miseries in the lives of big women, i. e., rejection. So, if you’re looking to discover positive change in every aspect of your life, go for maximum sexy! Hotties always get what they want. You just didn’t know that you were one. Until now. Now get out there and fuck somebody’s shit up!

"Real Women" A Label To Be Reckoned With

Call her 'Plus-Size,' or 'Full-Figured.' Call her 'BBW.' Regardless of what is perceived as a socially appropriate handle, today more and more Big Girls refer to themselves as 'Real Women.' It's a strong reflexive assertion, naturally engendered by the fact that so many Big Girls have been made to believe they are inferior women by the media and by peer groups. It is only fitting, then, that a rejoinder through which they assert themselves as superior women should not have been long in coming. In this post, we're going to begin looking at some of the necessary by-roads upon which the 'Real Woman' must travel in order to establish herself (or more accurately, RE-establish herself) in her rightful role as 'The Bomb.'

To begin with, the Real Woman inevitably has to learn and re-learn the mechanics of her sexual allure. Social conditioning has inculcated her with the message of her social undesirability, and this in turn becomes an integral—and thoroughly inimical—component in her complex of interactions with the world. Fortunately, today she receives far more encouragement to be herself and to openly express her sexuality than at any time in the recent past. I say ‘recent’ past because the rise of the skinny woman as female prototype was a 20th Century phenomenon, which broke with a much longer tradition of the ‘Ruben-esque’ woman as female ideal. At any rate, we now look upon modern media with a certain amount of gratitude as it has given Real Women a high-profile context in which to operate, notwithstanding the fact that it is this same media that perpetuates the image of the skinny woman as prototype. And so the media is both friend and foe to the Big Beautiful Woman in her quest for self-actualization. In my articles and essays, I always encourage Big Girls to get out there and shine as only a ceaseless campaign of ‘takin’ it to the public’ can establish them as the goddesses they so truly are. And how is this best accomplished? Through inner confidence and outer flamboyance! If a girl is going to dress to kill, she damn well better be packing ammunition! And that means exposure, purely and simply. Tight, revealing outfits do the same thing for Big Girls as they do for little girls…only better. And so, keeping sexy styling in mind, let’s take a look at what makes our well-heeled Real Woman HOT and why.

POWER. What makes them HOT is their power, and by this I mean their raw, physical power. A Big Woman is automatically endowed with this most compelling of all aphrodisiacs. She is formidable, she stands strong and solid. She is the very embodiment of permanence. She dares you to test the force of her stature. This exhibition of strength is something men find both intimidating and intensely provocative. Most men are aroused by power on some level, and I would actually argue that all men are, if only we could get them to lower their macho-man facades and get real. When he has entered into the presence of the Big Girl that knows who she is, he will experience something totally new; a woman in complete control. This aspect of her presence is something with which the Big Girl needs to become intimately acquainted. She needs to practice and cultivate her understanding of it. Power = Control. She should admire herself in the mirror often, until she is certain that she sees—and feels—the power dripping with scorching sexuality from her image, from her Being. With this power she will forever hence command any room she walks into, her movements secure, her footfall hard and imperious. This comes when she has grasped the life-affirming quality of her power and has learned how to display it with CONFIDENCE.

Confidence may be considered an addition to power, in that it is a separate entity, as is evidenced by the fact that it is quite common for people to display great confidence though lacking entirely in any appearance of power. And while a woman’s grasp of power comes mainly from an understanding of her physical presence, confidence is very much a psychological entity, something that must be harnessed in the mind. This quality is still difficult for a Big Girl to harness. The message of ‘undesirability’ has taken the form of underlying structure and in many cases continues to remain an obstacle to self-actualization because it has had long years to become deeply imbedded in her psyche. Though she knows now that there is a large group of men that find her infinitely more attractive than the skinny girl, she feels an inward suspicion that the skinny-lovers are still right—that they represent some imagined form of objective ‘truth,’—while feeling at the same time that the men who DO adore them are fetish freaks whose opinions somehow don’t really count. Pretty serious self-esteem issue, isn’t it? No matter how many men fall at your feet, you still feel inadequate. Well, it takes a lot of doing to unravel some of the bullshit that’s laid on us as we’re growing up.

Just what, then, does it take to unravel it? Is it simply a matter of repetition? Does a Big Beautiful Woman have to hear ‘You’re Hot’ as many times as she’s previously heard ‘You’re Fat’ before her emotional centers register ‘even’ on her internal scoreboard? That’s an easy assumption to make if her self-awareness is created solely from the content of what she’s heard all her life. But the truth is that the subject is considerably more complex than that, and as a result, our plush goddess becomes a woman of power through channels other than repetition of opinion. For the blessed few, confidence and attitude are part of their personalities. These few have always been tough, they genuinely value themselves highly, and their ultra-sexy swagger is a real thing. This, however, does not represent the majority of big girls. Even among relatively high-profile BBW nude models, we see insecurity manifested regularly. This insecurity is most evident in video clips. As these women are strutting their stuff for the cameras, their expressions, and often their physical gestures as well, betray their lack of self-confidence. They are having a hard time believing that they are really ALL THAT. All too often they even break into the sort of nervous giggling that reflects their confusion at what they are doing. They want to make the most of the opportunity to flaunt their sexuality, but they don’t really believe that they ARE sexy. A sense of embarrassment takes over, and it is very easy to detect as we watch them. Attitude is so important, and though these women are exceptionally gorgeous, the overall sensual effect is destroyed by their own inability to perceive it and believe it.

And so we are left with our question: From whence comes this confidence? How does our voluptuous vixen make the transition from outcast to sex kitten? Two key words apply here. Perception and Awareness. Perception has to do with the way we relate to and interact with the world. Awareness has to do with the expansion of consciousness and the self-appropriation of subsequent insights that empower us to ALTER our perception in line with our own positive development and with the higher truths regarding our views of the world.

Join me for Part II as we investigate the concepts of Perception and Awareness.

BBW: A Report On The State Of The Image

Understanding the position of the BBW image at this moment in time involves taking a fresh look at the power and dynamics of Image itself within the context of culture’s present state of evolution. The chief difficulty in such an investigation has to do primarily with the unprecedented swiftness with which that present state changes. Never before in history has the cultural landscape had the potential to shift so dramatically in such brief periods of time. It may even be said that it is in a constant state of flux, and there is certainly an element of truth in that notion. Nevertheless, if we’re to attain any sort of comprehensive grasp of the nature of Image manipulation in our daily lives, we’re going to have to live with the difficulty. On the up-side, however, as we're going to discover, the brutally rapid pace of modern life has positive implications for the broader acceptance of the BBW (The Real Woman!) Lifestyle, and other so-called 'alternative' lifestyles as well.

The world of the Big Beautiful Woman has certainly changed for the better in many ways over the past 2 decades. But like any other group considered to be ‘outside’ the mainstream, its struggle for autonomy and legitimization remains a challenge. This struggle for greater acceptance is always in place in modern culture among groups that feel unjustly marginalized vis-à-vis the prevailing trends, and the most powerful instrument of change available to such groups is Image.

Image has the unique ability to accomplish its objective instantaneously, unlike text, which must first be read in order to be processed. Amidst the meteoric pace of modern life, it is easy and often necessary to ignore text. The day is simply too short. Image is immune to time constraints. The most cursory glance, even one executed against our will, provides more than sufficient time to process the perceived message of Image. Remember those psychological tests back in the 60’s in which single frames depicting violent acts were inserted into otherwise calming and warm-hearted film footage? The violent images flashed onto the screen with such brevity that no one was conscious of their appearance. And yet, almost without exception, test subjects reported feeling unsettled or disturbed at the film’s end. They had been affected profoundly by intercourse with images they were not even aware of having seen. It is hard to imagine a more compelling testimony to the power of Image.

So, what is our current understanding of the implications of this power? Today, Image-driven media is more pervasive than ever before and we would be wise to retain a state of vigilance in understanding the ways in which media manipulates this imagery in order to control the thought processes of the general populace. While anyone not living on an uncharted island sans cell phone or laptop understands by now that endless labyrinths of commerce are what lie sprawling behind the media image, what is not so apparent are the ways in which these images do their work without the viewer’s consent. And unlike the subliminal imagery of our film experiments, most of the unconscious effects engendered by Image in today’s marketplace are achieved through the most direct means. Image is in-your-face today, challenging you like a 99 mph fastball. You know what’s coming, but you can’t stop it from having its desired effect. Or can you? This is what we’re going to investigate in analyzing the power and potential of the BBW Image today. We’re going to need to know just how much power the consumer possesses in the face of the media’s 99 mph Image fastball.

How does this unconscious power work? Today, it relies upon the fact that life is simply too fast-paced and fragmented to allow time for consumers to think in analytical terms about Media Image. The idea is that Image should become such a pervasive presence that it is taken as a ‘given,’ as a matter of course. We don’t think about why we find the blonde bimbo with the stick figure body and the 70-inch boob-job so hot, we just do. She’s there, she’s the constant, therefore, she gets my vote too. She's what I’m supposed to like because I saw it on ‘The Man Show.’ This is the general plan of 21st Century marketing. Just walk right in the door, assume the consumer’s ascendance to complicity, and collect the money. The entire paradigm is reflective of the chaotic vibe of public interface with the rapid-fire, quantum gyrations that characterize urban culture today. There’s little need for subtlety when ‘Wham-Bam, Thank You Ma’am’ gets the job done with far less investment of time and energy.



In what ways do these observations inform us as to the positioning of the BBW Image today? Most importantly, they assure us that the Image of Real Women can become just as acceptable and pervasive as any other feminine image simply by virtue of an Ascending Linear Presence. Linear Presence is accomplished by placing an unbroken chain of signifiers in place along a pre-determined, direct pathway. In the case of gaining improved saturation for the BBW Image, it happens as more designers and manufacturers of clothing enter the marketplace, along with more mainstream and Adult models focused on Image campaign with an entirely new kind of intensity, with a determination that the BBW Lifestyle won't be marginalized, and with the faith that the Big Beautiful Woman represents the ultimate in womanhood; ultimate sexuality, ultimate beauty, ultimate attitude, and ultimate intelligence. Each component of the system must 'up the ante,' as it were, and redouble its efforts to proliferate the line, or pathway, with an increasing abundance of compelling signification. As with any revolution, belief in the power to change the world is the fuel that keeps the fire burning brightly.

And so the idea of Ascending Linear Presence implies a progressively increasing density in ones use and familiarity with the workings of Media Image. The first concept with which we need to get very cuddly in this regard is the realization that Media doesn’t indicate public preferences. It creates them! Media isn’t in the business of reporting that the Pamela Anderson stereotype is indicative of most men’s preferences. It is in the business of making sure you believe she’s the embodiment of that preferential stereotype. In the case of public intercourse with Media Image, the tail wags the dog. Count on it. This is by no means a negative for Real Women. On the contrary, it is utterly empowering. One cool thing about the media is that it’s available to everyone. I’ve been saying for some time that the creation of a new stereotype is in order, the BBW Stereotype. The truth is that guys love big women. It’s just that acceptance of their imagery in the sexual realm simply hasn’t yet had a sufficient period of gestation. It’s all going to come together, but at this point in time it’s all about persistence, creativity, and energy. Real Women need to let go of the inferiority thing, too. It’s all in the past. Yes, I know you still got a snicker from a couple of dim bulbs at your office yesterday, but that’s no longer a reflection on you. It’s a reflection on two dullards that haven’t kept up with the times. If you care to keep watch, you’ll also discover that they issue the exact same snicker to other girls as well. It’s the job of the perennial loser to find fault. The snicker is their way of signifying that they don’t have a date that night, so just let it go. Get on with the important business of activism and of promoting yourself as an object of beauty, an object of sexual desire. Becoming our own mass-media promoting the BBW Lifestyle is the Royal Road to ultimate acceptance.

Am I encouraging you to be a Sex Object? I sure am, and for a very good reason. The Media Image that marginalizes big girls is nothing else but a sex object, the iconographic skinny girl/massive implant stereotype. To topple her as 'the world's most desirable woman' is to topple her as Sex Goddess first. Realize also that sexual allure is behind every commercial endeavor on some level, so if the Image of the Real Woman is ever to become the standard bearer for beauty and desirability, it’s going to have to be found dripping with sensuality. Of course this is not a problem because it’s what big women have wanted all along. They want the world to open itself up to a complete picture of reality, and in reality big girls are smokin’ hot. But to prove it on the kind of scale that equates to a falling away of prejudice and antipathy it is necessary to become media savvy and to keep turning up the cultural pressure. As I said, Sex is the driving force behind every facet of commerce once we penetrate the innocence of the surface façade and immerse ourselves in the deep structure. Discovery of the forces operating within that deep structure opens us up to the real possibilities of Image manipulation. It all has to do with the concept of Power.

The concepts of Power and Control are closely related, even intertwined, if you will. And these are the two commodities behind every decision we make as human beings, certainly every important one at any rate. Power and Control are the nerve center of Deep Structure. Any commodity or service you can think of claims to do what? It claims to improve your life in some way, large or small. With improvement comes more control, and by extension, more power. More power always carries an extended sexual allure because power is the real measure of success in the world, not money per se. Power is the sublime aphrodisiac, and it is precisely through Image (Signification) that Real Women have to harness power. They have to obtain power in order to be empowered. In order for this to happen on a large scale, constant visibility is essential, and along with visibility, enhanced volume and quality of visibility as well. To sum up, what I’m saying is that Big Beautiful Woman have the same media options as skinny women, they just haven’t yet commanded them with the requisite amount of strategic creativity. Granted, it takes contacts and funding. But it starts where every other movement starts; at the grass-roots level. As Real Women remain committed to showing the world what they’ve got, confident that it is indeed the real deal, the world will respond. For now, the important thing is to recognize that the BBW lifestyle is marginalized because we still don’t have the numbers to execute the game plan. But with the recognition that the turf is ours for the taking right now, perhaps it's not unrealistic to hope that those numbers explode in the immediate future. At least we can say without fear of equivocation that they're growing every day.

Anorexia Wars: The Media's Eternal Obsession With Emaciation

The title of one of my favorite Wayne Kramer songs says it best: 'Somethin's broken in the Promised Land.' Yes folks, in this ineffable year of our lord, 2008, Eva Longoria became tabloid fodder by gaining 7 lbs. and looking (god help us) like this. Eva’s weight gain was actually described as ‘shocking’ in one source I weighed in on. ‘Eva’s Pregnant!’ reported another with supreme confidence. The mind recoils from such inane commentary, requiring a moment to actually grasp the significance of what it is hearing. One can only hope that the publications running the stories were simply going for the green and trying to offer up a piece of crass, quickie-sensationalism that could sell a few papers. One can hope. Problem is, there is always that nagging feeling that this fetish with emaciation is real, that those who notice it and report it actually believe that their subject has become less attractive (and by extension, less desirable) having added a few pounds to her previously pencil-esque physique. Well, it’s one thing to think such supremely irrational thoughts in ones own head, it’s quite another to continue preaching the gospel of the Anorexic Ideal, not only to actors and models who may have better resources for dealing with the issue, but to the even more vulnerable ordinary women in all walks of life. Shame on you.

So, how does it happen? How can a supposedly evolving culture continue to degenerate into abject irrationalism? How is it we cannot seem to wake up from the nightmare of media mind control? Is the tail wagging the dog? Does majority taste dictate the trends, or vice-versa? Are we really such sheep that we’ve allowed our very lives to become extensions of the media? The fact that these questions must be asked is indeed symptomatic of our modern post-modern condition and they point to a disturbing truth. Truth is, our individual lives have ceased to be autonomous entities, having de-volved into shadows, mere extensions of the real things (products and corporations) whose images are fed into our psyches by the kingpins of the power structure as so much data is fed into a computer. We are taught NOT to think, but to emulate. Not to be unique, but to be the same. To follow not our hearts and intuitions but the images on our big-screens and computers. Only in these ways may we be assured of our ultimate acceptability, which is to say, our capacity for remaining consummate consumers. Those pulling the strings are apparently convinced that those who subscribe to the Myth of the Skinny Woman will be the superior customers. And they hit the public squarely in its Achilles’ heel; in its perceptions about Acceptability.

Fat Britney at the VMA's 2007. She was called 'a cow' by Hollywood entertainment reporters. ?????????

Acceptability represents the highest good. Everyone has to be acceptable on some level to someone. So why not be the MOST acceptable woman you can be and be acceptable to the entire world? Just like Eva Longoria before her scandalous weight gain. If you don’t, your acceptability diminishes incrementally and apparently BY THE POUND, according to these reports. We can see, then, that by availing itself of this simple but extremely effective tactic, the Corporate Demagogue manipulates your behavior by threatening your sense of ultimate acceptability through the use of IMAGE. Image is inextricably linked with Identity and this connection is a topic for another time. Having made a note of the idea, let’s move on, confining this discussion to the question of Image as it relates to the contemporary woman.

IMAGE
Of course, our introductory paragraph speaks volumes about image-expectation among women. Obviously, it’s not just ‘thin’ that’s in, but more accurately, ‘ultra-thin.’ Such an ideal is understandably quite intimidating to a majority of women. They know instinctively that the image is unnatural. And yet it seems to remain compelling, for reasons that resist articulation. It’s like a magic spell, bidding women to embrace what they know to be insane for the promise of ultimate cultural acceptance. That’s the function of Image in the media. It is calculated to override logic. It is there to OVERRULE your common sense, the wishes of friends and family, and everything else you know in an effort to win your consent. In Media Culture one picture is indeed worth a thousand words, and probably a lot more than that. Image-power is nothing short of remarkable. One photograph has the ability to dictate more than just looks and attitudes, it has the ability to dictate identity itself. Whether we approve of or disapprove of a given image tells us—and everyone else—the basics about who we actually are.

A Real Woman strolling the Southern California Beaches.

The scary part of the equation is our willingness to surrender to Image while being fully conscious that it is irrational, and fully conscious that we’re surrendering. We think of comparing the syndrome to that of moth to flame, but in reality it’s far worse. As far as we’re able to tell, the poor moth doesn’t KNOW it’s going to burn up in the flame. It’s simply doing what it does, gravitating toward maximum light. I suspect that if a moth could understand the fiery fate that awaited it, it would be smarter than we humans and avoid the blaze. But we are such creatures of habit, and so emotionally malleable that we buy into manipulation with the kind of predictability that advertisers liken to ‘shooting fish in a barrel.’ Not much of a challenge. And so it goes. Advertisers create images in order to connect their clients with the world, the world accepts or rejects the clients and their products via apprehension of the Image, and the real people that make up the world learn to define themselves by the Images they accept and reject.

What has happened in this cultural exchange? 1.An image has taken on the power to render a negative value judgement with respect to a real person. 2. The person has taken the value judgement to be real. 3. The value judgement IS real if enough other real people in the life of the original real person also believe the image represented reality with accuracy. Now, multiply the effect of this one small episode by, let's just say, 5 per week, 20 times per month, 240 times per year. That's two hundred and forty messages a woman will process telling her that she’s ultimately unacceptable; unacceptable to 'people who matter,' at any rate. The emotional depths at which we actually become the media image is stunning. Indeed, for many, there is no difference to be found between the contrived image and the self-image.


Tyra and Jennifer Love were skewered by the press for their appalling weight gains evidenced in these photos.

At some point, we realize that the only way to sanity is to stop letting the corporations do our thinking for us. The most precious power we possess is that of thinking for ourselves. Image is not destructive by definition. But it is critical that we as individuals control our own relationships to it. Most people are by nature less than fully confident in themselves, and when they attempt something creative on their own, it can be very hurtful when that act is treated with derision or apathy. We all know how that feels. We want to be validated. In the same way, we want our public personas to be validated. We want to be praised, and told that it’s 'all good.' All too often, we are rewarded with rejection instead. And so, we learn that doing things our own way involves a much greater risk than following the crowd. The crowd rewards homogenization, not by an abundance of praise, but in the negative sense by simply offering up no criticisms. No risk, no repercussion. Safety is assured. I cannot over-emphasize how important it is that we summon the courage to go against this grain of conformity and let go of our safety. The corporate image must not be allowed to dictate who we are. We have to relegate it back to its proper place. It is there to offer choices to the REAL power broker, and that is YOU. That is US.

BBW Model Carrie takin' the fight to the streets. Redefining the concept of 'Hot!'

So, how does a Real Woman respond to the notion that the media labels a woman ‘fat’ if she exceeds 130 lbs.? She doesn’t. She just keeps right on doing what she does best; promoting the BBW Lifestyle. That’s the answer, girls. The solution to this Anorexia fetish is to create an even bigger Fat Fetish. Plus Size models need to keep up the good work, and more importantly, to increase it and improve it. Only when we get the general quality AND quantity of BBW publications ratcheted up a few notches can we begin to compete. And competing, ladies, is the name of the game. This whole public opinion thing is a game of fighting fire with fire. And Real Women need bigger fires and more beautiful fires. So in closing, I’d like to encourage all you big beautiful women out there to stand up and be counted. If you’ve had the inclination to model or to do something else that’s high profile, the time is right. There are many of us out here now. Today, support is greater than ever for Real Women and their ambitions and I encourage you all to take advantage. Let skinny girls keep ruling the Media Image War? I think not.


Two images of Real Women in swimwear. The greeting card is intended as a slur, the Corona Girl as eye candy.